This show, “Michigan and other Mayhem”, is a sort of factual, slightly comical, always earnest podcast about interesting stuff in Michigan and around the world. It is done by two sisters-in-law (Ali and Jenn) that like to talk about random interesting stories. Expect cults, mysteries, murder, fast talking, and a couple of mental palate cleansers… and cuss words. Those happen on this show, a lot.
Episode 50: Getting To Know Us
**WARNING!** LOUD PODCAST. WE WERE TO BUSY TURNING IT UP. WE TURNED UP THE AUDIO TO LOUD.
- Pretend podcast music because Jenn likes it.
- Ali has a weird laugh. It is often loud.
Get to know us. We answer questions for our 50th episode. We also have an accompanying video of us taping this episode on YouTube.
Name a movie or book that scared you.
Jenn: Not really scared of movies or books. The monkeys in Wizard of Oz were scary as a kid. I do think that some TV shows are creepy, like the mothman on The Magicians.
Ali: The movie Event Horizon and a couple of Stephen King books.
Who was the first person you had a crush on?
Jenn: I loved Leonardo Dicaprio. I always thought Tom Hanks was hot. Danny Devito, his funniness makes him hot.
Ali: Bruce Lee was my first crush, then a kid in my school named Michael Pearson. Being funny makes you infinitely hotter.
What is your weirdest habit?
Jenn: I check to make sure doors are locked, checking repeatedly.I like things to be cleared off. Nothing on the counter. I fold my dirty clothes.
Ali: I count things a lot. I had a coworker who needed at least an inch of plate between each of her food items. I like to eat each item separate, saving my favorite food for last. I kick my clothes down the hall to the hamper.
If you had to choose between going naked or having your thoughts appear in thought bubbles above your head for everyone to read, which would you choose?
Jenn: Thought bubbles.
Ali: Naked. Otherwise, I would have to fight people. Either way, I could never leave the house again.
What’s the first thing you would do if you woke up one day as the opposite sex?
Jenn: (stayed quiet)
Ali: Masturbate, pee, stare at it, poke it.
Have you ever farted in an elevator?
Jenn: Oh yeah, at work.
Ali: I worked at a hospital for over 20 years. One day I had to get into an elevator that was only going down two floors. I came in from the back entrance of the elevator and as I walked to the front to hit the control buttons, I smelled a fart. Instead of turning around, I continued to ride from the second floor to the basement. I decide to hold my breath. Unfortunately, the elevator stopped on the first floor and an elderly couple got in. Immediately, they gave me stink eye, thinking I’m the farter. I just stood there feeling embarrassed. I didn’t see a conversational opening to tell them it wasn’t me.
Did your parents ever give you the “birds and the bees” talk?
Jenn: I got a book. It was an old book.
Ali: I got a book. I was fascinated to learn that a 12-year-old couldn’t be a grandparent.
Have you ever had a wardrobe malfunction?
Jenn: At work, my favorite jeans, busted open at the crotch and buttocks as I was sitting down. I still worked; I just didn’t get up that often. I’ve come to work with a broken zipper or an exposed bra.
Ali: While working at the hospital, I worked in Radiology. As I was getting a mammogram, my gown opened at the front, completely exposing my breast. About three coworkers got to see my left breast framed by my gown.
You’re in a public restroom and just went #2, then you realized your stall has no toilet paper. What do you do?
Jenn: I would find someone to help me out. I always check the toilet paper, even in my house.
Ali: I would flush this toilet and try to dart into the next one. In public I wipe the seat with the paper.
Would you rather have sex with a famous person in secret or not have sex with that person but everyone thinks you did?
Jenn: I would have sex and hope they gave me gifts.
Ali: I’d have sex and hope it was good and worth it.
Would you trade your sibling in for a million dollars?
Jenn: Hell, yeah, I would. I’d tell him the money would help us.
Ali: Yes, I love my sisters and I would miss them dearly.
If you lost one day of your life every time you said a swear word, would you try not to do it?
Jenn: I would try.
Ali: I would f***ing die.I would have died during the 90’s.
If you were reborn, what decade would you want to be born in?
Jenn: 1950’s. I love their clothes.
Ali: I like current times, pain killers, science, antibiotics. I would go nowhere.
Would you wear your shirt inside out for a whole day if someone paid you $100?
Jenn: Yes. I’ve done backwards. I’ve done inside out underwear. Recently I did backwards underwear.
Ali: I’ve done it for free 100 times.
Have you ever kept a library book?
Jenn: Yes. I didn’t return a text book from middle school and they said they would not give me my high school diploma if I didn’t pay for it.
Ali: I have one from elementary school. It’s been decades, so we’re together now. The librarian is dead, and my mom probably had to pay for it.
Do you have any silly nicknames?
Jenn: Benny, by my parent.
Ali: Ali is a nickname. Alligator. Ally-Magally. Ally McBeal. Ali-thea Weapon. Little Orphan Ali. Ali-Lou. Alley Oop.
What ‘As seen on TV’ product do you secretly want to buy?
Jenn: My dad buys a lot and I’ve picked up his habit. Right now I’m thinking about a toothbrush that cleans your teeth without you using your hands.
Ali: I don’t see commercials. I have no idea what is going on. I do have a As Seen On TV fish tank that holds one one.
How many selfies do you take a day?
Jenn: Two years ago, every day I did a lot. Now it is more rare. I do when I dress up.
Ali: I took one last summer to show someone what I look like when my hair is straightened.
Would you rather go for a month without washing your hair or go for a day without wearing a bra?
Jenn: I’m fine without the bra.
Ali: I don’t always wear a bra as it is. Also, I need to wash my hair.
Who is your celebrity crush?
Jenn: Jason Mamoa.
Ali: Jason Mamoa.
What’s the sexiest thing about a guy? (visible in public)
Jenn: The face. Facial hair. The V at the pelvis.
Ali: Forearms. Facial hair is hot.
Would you date someone shorter than you?
Jenn: No. I am pretty short.
Ali: Yes. I too am short. I don’t have a short/tall preference.
Would you rather not shower for a month, or eat the same meal every day for a month?
Jenn: Same meal.
Ali: Same meal.
Have you ever ignored a friend’s text? Why did you do it?
Jenn: I take weeks to respond. I’m trying to get better.
Ali: I’m known for forgetting my phone and not having it on me. It don’t answer and it is not on purpose.
Is cereal soup?
Jenn: It could be.
What’s invisible but you wish people could see?
Jenn: I don’t know.
Ali: Climate change time clock.
What’s the most ridiculous fact you know?
Jenn: I got nothing.
Ali: I know there are golf balls on the moon. There is a hamster that will procreate to death.
What is something that everyone looks stupid doing?
Jenn: Sex. At some point you’ll look dumb. Eating certain items. I saw a lady the other day having a hard time with a taco.
What is the funniest joke you know by heart?
Jenn: I am not a funny person. I don’t know jokes. When people laugh, it is not on purpose. I don’t understand dad jokes.
Ali: How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it. How do catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, unique up on it. And: A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
Toilet paper, over or under?
Jenn: Over if I think about it.
Ali: I could care less.
What sport would be the funniest to add a mandatory amount of alcohol to?
Jenn: Beach volleyball.
If you were held at gun point and told that if you didn’t impress them with your dance moves you would be killed, what dance moves would you bust out?
Jenn: I can’t dance, but I’d do it. I’d push my butt out like a weapon.
Ali: All of them.
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Warning: This podcast occasionally contains strong language which may be unsuitable for children.